It's been a long while since I last posted online due to being tied down with things around me, work, life, and preparing for the coming of the little one. Thought I’d share the experiences leading to my decision for a change of job 6 months ago and of recent.
It was a good 2 years or more when I first asked myself about purpose at work. I have been there, done that. So, what are the other things in life that lie ahead? What is the purpose? What is the mission in life? I’ve ‘shopped’ around in the past 2 years and went for some interviews, not in the hurry as what was meant to come would eventually come. It was late last year that I came across a job opening in a VWO that caught my attention which challenged me further in my thoughts.
End 2010 and 2011 had not been an easy year, having to witness a very close university friend passing on due to a cancerous brain tumour near Christmas and having to witness my mother-in-law passing on slowly from cancer. Something that was stuck on my mind was that the families and friends had good closures before they departed. This struck me when I came across the job opening.
I took 4 weeks to pray and discern about it. It was not easy knowing that I would have quite a hefty paycut joining them and coming out of comfort zone. It was on 3 occasions during these 4 weeks that similar messages kept coming to me in the midst of discernment..."Go forth, the Lord will make straight the path for you"..."You will achieve things that you can never imagine"...and the last one was during Sunday Mass when a part of a reading hit out at me in assurance and affirmation. So off I tendered my resignation, then came the news of the little one (how humorous God can be at times).
Till now, after having worked in the VWO for 5 months, there were moments of doubt against my own discernment, arising from work related matters and unkind comments. Sometimes it could feel so draining having to deal with certain issues due to obstinate mindsets and emotional reactivity around me.
When I was at St Ignatius on a Friday evening for LISS, Fr Chris asked the participants, "How are you?" I must admit I did not feel peace at that moment as my mind was clouded with work, doubts and irritation. After some time of silence in reflection, memories of how the Spirit guided me in my discernment to lead the engineering students committee under the Catholic Students Society in my university days came back to me vividly. How despite of opting to speak the last about my discernment outcome actually confirmed that I should take the lead in the students committee back then.
How do I feel? I feel at peace knowing that God will see me through difficult times as He always did in the past. What He requires of me is integrity and uprightness when dealing with things and people. For this, I seek wisdom and counsel.
